When My “Negatives” Became My Greatest Strengths.

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 Once, a teacher asked us to write about our positives and negatives.

I remember staring at the paper for a long time. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I had lived too much to pretend anymore. When I finally wrote, my positives looked uncomfortable on paper :

selfish

self-centred

obsessed with myself

against society

 someone who keeps strong boundaries.

When my teacher read it, she looked at me with doubt. She asked if I was sure those were my positives. She reminded me that I was human, that I should have values, empathy, and concern for others, and told me not to be selfish.

But I stood there, confident in my answer. Because what she saw as flaws were not qualities I was gifted with. They were qualities I survived into.

I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t born selfish or self-centred. I was once a people pleaser who tolerated too much and stayed silent for too long. I carried others’ comfort at the cost of my own peace. That version of me paid a heavy price. The person I am today , someone with boundaries, self-worth, and an unapologetic focus on herself , was shaped through endurance, through harsh words that stayed lodged in my heart, through experiences that forced me to grow up before I was ready. Everything I am now, I built by myself. I grew myself. I raised myself.

The family, colleagues, and teachers who were supposed to shape a child’s future were never kind to me. I haven’t seen a single soul take a stand for me when I needed it the most. Family backstabbed me, colleagues left me behind, and teachers showed partiality without guilt. I felt an unbearable sadness for the inner child in me ....the child who kept waiting for someone to choose her.

I became my own parent. On dark nights when everyone slept peacefully, I stayed awake, nurturing myself, calming myself, wiping my own tears. I was confused so many times, filled with fear, growing without confidence. I was alone in every possible way....an orphan surrounded by people.

I still remember being bullied by colleagues because I wasn’t smart in the way they valued. I remember eating fast , not out of hunger, but so I wouldn’t be left alone when they went together to wash their hands. I remember my first school tour in seventh standard. I was excited to go, but I didn’t even have a single person to stand beside. Everyone had their own groups, and I stood there like a clown, smiling, not even knowing what a tour was supposed to feel like.

I still remember teachers who preferred the so-called smart ones, chosen by looks and confidence. Even today, I question how adults can show such partiality to children. Yet, in their cruelty, they gave me an example of how a teacher should never be.

So when I told my teacher those words were my positives, I meant it with my whole heart. Being selfish means I no longer abandon myself. 

Being self-centred means I finally exist at the centre of my own life.

 Being obsessed with myself means I care for the person no one protected.

 Being against society means I refuse systems that normalise harm. 

Having boundaries means I survived.

These qualities did not make me less human. They made me whole. I struggled hard to reach this place of self-respect, and I earned it through pain, not privilege.

So yes, those are my positives. And I will stand by them....without shame, without apology.

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